The Valentine's Day Challenge
February 02, 2008
Contributing Writer: Mark Sichel, LCSW, www.marksichel.com
"Okay, February 14th is right around the corner. I've spent the last month consumed by my work, the Superbowl, and my post-holiday weight gain. How am I going to make Valentine's Day work for me and my gal?"
"I'm currently single and hate Valentine's Day. Should I try one of these programs I've seen on the Internet for finding a man in 30 days?"
"I'm swamped with work and kids. My husband complains that I pay no attention to him. How can I improve our relationship and make Valentine's Day memorable this year? Should I try some of the suggestions I've seen out there? Silk lingerie? Chocolate massage oil? Learn to kiss like a movie star? Gee, I don't know."
The Valentine's Day Challenge is for LOVERS WHO THINK. People with intelligence will not buy into gimmickry like "learning how to kiss like a movie star." Those who have succeeded in creating ENDURING LOVE AND PASSION know that it is not achieved in a week or a month and know that it requires effort, commitment, maturity, creativity and energy.
If you and your lover are in bad shape, or if you don't currently have a lover, you cannot fix the problem with gimmicks, halfhearted efforts or gifts, no matter how costly and elaborate. Relationships take work. Intimacy takes work. A satisfying and enduring sex life requires energy, creativity, and an on-going commitment to being the best lover/spouse/partner/companion you can be.
In the age of the quick fix and instant gratification, this is not popular news. We want to follow the program and "have great sex in 30 days," or "find a man before February 14th." We want to fix our problems by paying attention to our lover for one day after making minimal efforts the rest of the year. Valentine's Day solutions we see in the media don't work, based on our combined 50 years of working with individuals and couples and helping them with issues of intimacy and relationships.
What is the Valentine's Day Challenge? Simply put, make every day of your life Valentine's Day. Work on communicating with your partner. Learn how to be more loving and affectionate. Pay attention to your mate EVERY day, and express positive, affectionate and loving feelings 365 days of the year. The Valentine's Day Challenge comes with a great prize for the winner: feeling great about yourself and your relationship and knowing that you put 100% effort into your love life 100% of the time. THERE CAN BE NO GREATER GIFT THAN ENDURING LOVE AND PASSION. Take the Valentine's Day Challenge and start planning your Valentine's Life...not just your Valentine's Day.
===========================
Copyright 2004: Mark Sichel is a psychotherapist, consultant, and speaker on a broad range of issues related to family, mental health, and interpersonal problems. He is the editor and principal author of the award winning self-help Web site, www.psybersquare.com. For a more detailed guide to overcoming the panic brought on by dysfunctional family experiences, read Mark Sichel's new book, Healing From Family Rifts: Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family. For more information about this book visit the author's Web site: www.marksichel.com
===========================
Recently in Ordinary Lives:
8 Wedding Favor Ideas For a Valentine Wedding
Wedding favors are small, inexpensive gifts or souvenirs that you present to your guests as a way of saying "thank-you for attending our wedding celebration". It has become customary to give something in return to your guests that they can keep as a memory of your special day...
Six Valentine's Day Wedding Favor Ideas
Valentine's Day is synonymous with romance and is a natural choice for your wedding as you celebrate the greatest romance of your life. Hearts, roses, chocolate – even love itself - are all associated with Valentine's Day, and the choice for Valentine's wedding favors is almost limitless...
The Valentine's Day Challenge
What is the Valentine's Day Challenge? Simply put, make every day of your life Valentine's Day. Work on communicating with your partner. Learn how to be more loving and affectionate. Pay attention to your mate EVERY day...
Valentine's Day Wedding Ideas
Valentine's Day is synonymous with romance and if you've chosen this day to marry, you must be a truly romantic soul. Let your love of romance set the stage for your Valentine's wedding and inject the theme of romantic love into every aspect of your planning...
Fun Valentines Day Sweet Treats
Children love to decorate for all holidays and they love to help out in the kitchen and make crafts. The following cover all three of these areas for some special family fun...
The Right Way to Eat for Better Health and Weight Loss
For most of your life, you probably have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now depending on your eating habits, this may be okay...but many people skip breakfast because they don't have the time, they have a semi-normal lunch and then a large dinner. Avoid this at all costs...
The Man-tidote
A guy who is interested in you will either ask for your phone number or have gained enough information about you during your conversation to get it on his own (through work, or mutual friends.) If a man hands you his card without asking for your number, simply ask him for a pen, write your number on the back of the card, and return the card to him. That way, he'll not only have your phone number, he'll know that you don't have his...
stories from a Pasadena life
The blog "stories from a Pasadena life" provides info, links, news and calendar items from the virtual streets of Pasadena, Texas. Here are the most recent entries in the blog, for your reading pleasure...